Adding a unicorn makes everything better, even Assassin's Creed Origins

The version of Assassin's Creed Origins I've been playing came with some of the game's idiotic currency, Assass-o-bucks or something, that allow you to buy your way past entry level blocks. It's a gross trend, letting players purchase ability points, better equipment, and the like, and all it tells me is that the game has been poorly balanced if such options are available. Anyway, it also lets you buy a unicorn. So obviously I did that. And gosh does that undermine the game's desperate attempts to be SERIOUS. The unicorn makes rainbows everywhere it runs.
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