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Have You Played... Resident Evil 7: Biohazard?

The house is very nice

Horror really isn’t my thing. I remember watching the 2012 adaptation of the Woman in Black after school, and leaving the cinema in a terrible state having just seen Harry Potter being put through the absolute ringer. So yeah, to my surprise, I played Resident Evil 7: Biohazard the other day and had a good time.

The family home you explore in Resi 7 is dark and mangled and labyrinthine. For me it’s scary partly because I’d actually consider putting down a deposit if given the chance. And if I had a few million to spare, which sadly I don't. It would come furnished which is a bonus, and the rooms are a “good size” as they say on TV shows like A Place in the Sun and Escape to the Country (both shows pair well with lunch). The current tenants would also be hospitable in their own way. I mean, you have dinner with them at one point and they’re all smiles. That's good enough for me.

I suppose I’d have the wiry oil monsters from Prey to worry about in the basement, but again, with property you have to make compromises.

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Ed Thorn avatar
Ed Thorn: When Ed's not cracking thugs with bicycles in Yakuza, he's likely swinging a badminton racket in real life. Any genre goes, but he's very into shooters and likes a weighty gun, particularly if they have a chainsaw attached to them. Adores orange and mango squash, unsure about olives.
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Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

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