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Vampire Survivors free cart-racing update finally answers one of the game's darkest mysteries

The game's first AAAA update

Santa Ladonna stands amidst an explosion of blue in Vampire Survivors.
Image credit: Poncle

Unveiled last night at the IGN x ID@Xbox Digital Showcase, Vampire Survivors has received a free new update called Laborratory (yes, with two 'r's). It includes one new character, one secret character, three weapons, one stage, and a bonus go-cart racing stage. But perhaps most importantly of all, Poncle say they'll answer the question that's been on everyone's lips: "Why is it called Santa Water?". This is something that's puzzled me since the game's inception, and therefore, I will be thrusting myself back into the game where there are, in fact, no vampires at all. I need to know.

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Poncle describes the new Laborratory update as their first "AAAA" update that takes place in the "dark halls of a corrupted science lab". You can now open doors, and those doors that open? Fully animated. Where they lead to, I am unsure, but apparently in the new Laborratory stage "everything is trying to kill you, including the narrow corridors". So one can only presume opening doors means it'll lead to a room flooded with lizard soldiers and spikes.

The new character is called Santa Ladonna, who starts with a temporary cooldown bonus and automatically triggers a Rosary (an instantaneous burst of AoE damage) when low on health. Those aren't the only two things, either, as Poncle has rounded off Ladonna's description with "absolutely nothing else" and some eye emojis.

Carlo Cart is the new bonus stage, where "lizardmen run clandestine go-cart races". And there's a new festive weapon called the Santa Javelin, a new Seal III power-up, seven new achievements, a new evolution called the Seraphic Cry, a new passive weapon called the Arma Dio, and I won't spoil how any of these work or how you unlock them because that would be mean.

Only just a couple of weeks ago was a Vampire Survivors Contra-themed DLC announced, and now this AAAA update? Goodness me, are we spoiled. I particularly like how Poncle's strategy is to just drop these updates out of nowhere as it fits the chaotic nature of the game they've created, which is absolutely one of the best games you can play on Steam Deck.

You can find all the update details in Poncle's Steam announcement.

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Ed Thorn avatar
Ed Thorn: When Ed's not cracking thugs with bicycles in Yakuza, he's likely swinging a badminton racket in real life. Any genre goes, but he's very into shooters and likes a weighty gun, particularly if they have a chainsaw attached to them. Adores orange and mango squash, unsure about olives.
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