We should review video games like scent reviewers rate fragrances

I've been nose-ing up a fragrance for a while now. I've owned some cheaper smellies in the past (they can be brilliant, no hate to the budget options), but I find those I've owned don't really linger for longer than, like, a couple of hours. I'm after a more expensive whiffo, something that I can pop on for special occasions (when a new Yakuza launches) and feel more confident while simultaneously perking up people's nasal cavities.

Having recently fallen down the YouTube and general research rabbithole, I've come to realise that video game review formats are all wrong. We should treat them just like scent reviewers treat bottles of Y'ur Momme De Intense. The new Assassin's Creed Shadows? Like a walk through a mossy forest, except there's a bit of pine cone stuck in your shoe and it's jabbing you in the heel.